America is the world's policeman, all right -- a big, dumb, mick flatfoot in the middle of the one thing cops dread most, a "domestic disturbance.

What would be a road hazard anywhere else, in the Third World is probably the road.

There isn't much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.

There aren't many political humorists. Dave Barry is excellent, but he doesn't do it much.

Sometimes you need a B-2 bomber and sometimes you need your mother.

B students work for C students - A students teach.

Lampoon ran out of steam in the early '80s, and wasn't able to reinvent itself because it ran out of talent. People who wanted to do this kind of stuff could suddenly make $100,000 in Hollywood right out of college.