You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.

Harvard has been almost as important to the American Jewish community as the pork-sausage industry.

Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present.

Finally, one night we were smoking pot [with Michael O'Donoghue] and talking about the people that are invariably in high school, whether you go to prep school or public school or ghetto school or rich suburban school. And actually, it spun off from a Kurt Vonnegut quote.

The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words.

It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government, and I'm here to help."

I was never in the office [of Rolling Stone]. It was very different from Lampoon, where we spent a lot of time together socially, which is to say "drunk."