Then there was communism's weak-tea sister, socialism. Socialists maintained that we shouldn't take all the money away from all the people since all the people don't have money. We should take all the money away from only the people who make money. Then, when we run out of that, we could take more money from the people who...hey, wait! Where'd you people go? What do you mean you're "tax exiles in Monaco?"

I spent almost 25 years as a foreign correspondent, and the world's primary problem is poverty.

Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.

The only time a bachelor's bed is made is when it's in the factory.

Jesse Jackson was spending time with his family, or families.

The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and we can fix that."

Every pleasure you forgoe on Earth is a pleasure you won't get in heaven.