Only one way to cover a story like this, and make that a double, bartender, please.

You'll note that politicians no longer spend money, they invest it. Don't worry about paying more to the [IRS]. You aren't being taxed; you're taking a plunge on a fly-by-night stock issue.

Never strike anyone so old, small or weak that verbal abuse would have sufficed.

Los Angeles is many places in one place.

It is important to remember when making jokes about women, that they are not a minority. They weren't captured on another continent and brought here in leg-irons (funny shoes, yes, but not leg-irons) and Hitler didn't blame them for Germany's loss in WWI. Therefore, you can make any kind of fun of them you want.

The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.

To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.