You can't shame or humiliate modern celebrities. What used to be called shame and humiliation is now called publicity.

Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning.

What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.

If Disney still wants to make Epcot Center futuristic, they could do so by blowing the place up with an atom bomb.

The forces of safety are afoot in the land. I, for one, believe it is a conspiracy - a conspiracy of Safety Nazis shouting "Sieg Health" and seeking to trammel freedom, liberty, and large noisy parties. The Safety Nazis advocate gun control, vigorous exercise, and health foods. The result can only be a disarmed, exhausted, and half-starved population ready to acquiesce to dictatorship of some kind.

Lampoon ran out of steam in the early '80s, and wasn't able to reinvent itself because it ran out of talent. People who wanted to do this kind of stuff could suddenly make $100,000 in Hollywood right out of college.

I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners - two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime.