Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.

From National Lampoon, you go directly to Saturday Night Live, because it's a lot of the same people.

I don't even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I've never used a computer.

Imagine having journalists in your own home and not even covering the furniture with plastic sheets first.

We also have a lot of the same influences - we both read a lot of the beatniks. And yet what we actually do is almost exactly the opposite. His [ Hunter S. Thompson] political stuff is just wonderful, but basically nothing happens.

Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have. Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal, and lazy. It's easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite poet. People like poets to possess the same qualities they do.

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.