We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it.

Who, other than a crazy person, does anything besides hang up on a robo-call? Any call, any person, anywhere, under any circumstances.

Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not going to divorce you for refusing to spend forty hours a week making up lies about toilet paper.

I'm certainly not fearful.

To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.

I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser.

A girl who is really pretty - whether she wraps herself in an abayah, a nun's habit, or the front hall rug - never wraps herself so that the world can't tell.