Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
P. J. O'RourkeIf you spend seventy-two hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don't understand, and you come back as the world's biggest know-it-all, you're a reporter.
P. J. O'RourkeIn the past a man was expected to give his seat on a bus to a woman. Today it would be much more courteous for that man to give her his job.
P. J. O'RourkeI have, of all the inglorious things, a malignant hemorrhoid. What color bracelet does one wear for that? And where does one wear it? And what slogan is apropos? Perhaps that slogan can be sewn in needlepoint around the ruffle on a cover for my embarrassing little doughnut buttocks pillow.
P. J. O'Rourke