Satire doesn't effect change.

Imagine having journalists in your own home and not even covering the furniture with plastic sheets first.

Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.

America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. Start thinking and pretty soon you get ideas, and then you get idealism, and the next thing you know you've got ideology, with millions dead in concentration camps and gulags.

Never strike anyone so old, small or weak that verbal abuse would have sufficed.

It is easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess so many of the same qualities as people that it is often hard to tell the people and the cats apart.

We like to pile language on language. Hunter [ S. Thompson] was an influence on me, no doubt about it.