Germans respond well to lies. At least, they always have historically.

All lies are told with a straight face. It is truth that's said with a dismissive giggle.

Smoking cigarettes seems to alarm peace activists much more than voting for Reagan does.

It takes a lot of weapons to do good works (as Richard the Lionhearted could have told us). And this is not just a Somali problem. We have poverty and deprivation in our own country. Try standing unarmed on a street corner in Compton handing out twenty-dollar bills and see how long you last.

A nation with a goofy foreign policy needs a very serious policy of defense.

I was never in the office [of Rolling Stone]. It was very different from Lampoon, where we spent a lot of time together socially, which is to say "drunk."

I had grown up as a feature writer, and basically my career had been in The National Lampoon and as a magazine editor, and I'd never been a reporter.