A woman should dress to attract attention. To attract the most attention, a woman should be either nude, or wearing something as expensive as getting her nude is going to be.

Self-interest leads to honing your skills, the better to trade with.

Satire doesn't effect change.

We're gonna be in a world of hurt if we don't get it fixed, because there's going to be billions of people out there - they're hungry, they're mad. One thing that they can get their hands on is guns.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

Personally, I believe a rocking hammock, a good cigar, and a tall gin-and-tonic is the way to save the planet.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.