Never do anything to a clitoris with your teeth that you wouldn't do to an expensive waterproof wristwatch.

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.

If we want the whole world to be rich, we need to start loving wealth. In the difference between poverty and plenty, the problem is the pverty, not the difference. Wealth is good.

I went back to bumming around New York, writing freelance stuff for Car & Driver and such.

Collectivism doesn't work because it's based on a faulty economic premise. There is no such thing as a person's "fair share" of wealth. The gross national product is not a pizza that must be carefully divided because if I get too many slices, you have to eat the box. The economy is expandable and, in any practical sense, limitless.

Drugs have taught an entire generation of kids the metric system

There was also a hunger strike in front of the National Press Club, which seemed an odd place to have a hunger strike (a cocktail fast, maybe). Although the Bangladeshis were savvy enough to know to know that if you're going to pester journalists, don't go to where they work: You'll never find them there.