Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks.

Haitians weren't screwed-up, but everything political, intellectual, and material around them is.

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.

To really enjoy drugs you've got to want to get out of where you are. But there are some wheres that are harder to get out of than others. This is the drug-taking problem for adults. Teenage Weltscbmerz is easy to escape. But what drug will get a grown-up out of, for instance, debt?

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

One nice thing about the Third World, you don't have to fasten your seat belt. (Or stop smoking. Or cut down on saturated fats.) It takes a lot off your mind when average life expectancy is forty-five minutes.

The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and we can fix that."