That is the really great thing about being an adult male, once you get married and have children the whole decision-making process is taken out of your hands, and I for one am extremely grateful.

At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying whole wide world.

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

Not being a liberal, I have very little grasp of things that I know nothing about.

Wherever there's injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it's happening.

Fashionably amusing table manners are a matter of breaking the right rule at the right time.