Who does Bill Clinton think got off the boat and stepped on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers?

I'm a member of the working press; you'd think I'd know better than to listen to journalists.

Then there's politics. Just imagine politics with its dumbbell element subtracted. There would be no Republican candidates. There would be no Democratic voters. The whole system would collapse.

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

The very existence of the bicycle is an offense to reason and wisdom.

Nothing about economic growth in the United States over the course of the past 40, 50 years, during which time this has been continually happening, would indicate that we are being harmed in an overall sense by this.

Dating is the social engagement with the threat of sex at its conclusion.