Automobiles are free of egotism, passion, prejudice and stupid ideas about where to have dinner. They are, literally, selfless. A world designed for automobiles instead of people would have wider streets, larger dining rooms, fewer stairs to climb and no smelly, dangerous subway stations.

The three branches of government number considerably more than three and are not, in any sense, 'branches' since that would imply that there is something they are all attached to besides self-aggrandizement and our pocketbooks. ... Government is not a machine with parts; it's an organism. When does an intestine quit being an intestine and start becoming an asshole?

Mike Kelly [from The Atlantic] called me up and said he could pay me less money.

Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present.

Every generation finds the drug it needs.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

God has no role to play in politics except to make sure politicians go where they belong. To hell.