Automobiles are free of egotism, passion, prejudice and stupid ideas about where to have dinner. They are, literally, selfless. A world designed for automobiles instead of people would have wider streets, larger dining rooms, fewer stairs to climb and no smelly, dangerous subway stations.

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.

Many reporters, when they go to work in the nation's capital, begin thinking of themselves as participants in the political process instead of glorified stenographers.

A nation with a goofy foreign policy needs a very serious policy of defense.

Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. It only kills the brain cells that contain good sense, shame, embarrassment, and restraint.

I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser.

Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.