There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

When a couple decides to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having a party and telling all their friends. This is not only courteous but practical. Parents may be very willing to pitch in with comments, criticism, and malicious gossip of their own to help the divorce along.

The Russians could have some (warheads) aimed at Japan, so if we act up they can destroy our economy.

Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.

You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. ... Government contains impure ingredients - as anybody who's looked at Congress can tell you. ... government practices deceptive advertising. And the merest glance at the federal budget is enough to convict the government of perjury, extortion, and fraud. ... in a nutshell: government should be against the law. Term limits aren't enough. We need jail.

Los Angeles is many places in one place.

Any random group of thirty Vietnamese women will contain a dozen who make Julia Roberts look like Lyle Lovett.