A charity ball is like a dance except it's tax deductible.

One of the problems with being a writer is that all of your idiocies are still in print somewhere. I strongly support paper recycling.

Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them.

Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty.

Government usually doesn't work. It doesn't work because it is political. People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs. The difference between the political process and an honest life is the difference between parading around waving picket signs while hollering catcalls in front of the White House and getting up in the morning to go make a living.

The only time a bachelor's bed is made is when it's in the factory.

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.