The purpose of the Senate is to keep 100 middle aged knuckleheads out of the private sector where they can do real harm.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

I didn't realize what fun it was [ been a reporter].

I was never in the office [of Rolling Stone]. It was very different from Lampoon, where we spent a lot of time together socially, which is to say "drunk."

Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty.

Fortunately, I'm married to someone who's a pretty excellent parent!

In the Third World, honk your horn only under the following circumstances: 1. When anything blocks the road. 2. When anything doesn't. 3. When anything might. 4. At red lights. 5. At green lights. 6. At all other times.