There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men behave when there is no significant influence from women in their lives.

Drugs have taught an entire generation of kids the metric system

If I bring anything to the table, it's the fact that not everybody realizes they're funny. So I just point a finger.

A humorist doesn't really do that much note-taking.

I started reading Hunter S. Thompson when I was in college.

The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen.

Creative writing teachers should be purged until every last instructor who has uttered the words 'Write what you know' is confined to a labor camp. Please, talented scribblers, write what you don't. The blind guy with the funny little harp who composed The Iliad, how much combat do you think he saw?