Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped poverty.

Imagine if all of life were determined by majority rule. Every meal would be a pizza. Every pair of pants, even those in a Brooks Brothers suit, would be stone-washed denim. Celebrity diet and exercise books would be the only thing on the shelves at the library. And - since women are a majority of the population - we'd all be married to Mel Gibson.

Haitians weren't screwed-up, but everything political, intellectual, and material around them is.

The Russians could have some (warheads) aimed at Japan, so if we act up they can destroy our economy.

The motorcycle is a device created by the team of God and Darwin to rid the world of useless young males.

Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and prove it.

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.