We should never hesitate to listen to a fool about life because life is pretty foolish as far as I can tell.

Term limits aren't enough. We need jail.

America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.

El Salvador has the scenery of northern California and the climate of southern California plus - and this was a relief - no Californians.

Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport -- two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner.

The motorcycle is a device created by the team of God and Darwin to rid the world of useless young males.

Once we realized that there were these 25 invariable types - the class politician, the frigid popular girl, the kid who tags along behind the jocks - once we came up with these key characters in a cloud of marijuana, the whole thing just came together. One of the things I'm really proud of is how much of a high-school yearbook it is in its look, so much so that Hunter Publishing had the art director, David Kaestle, and I come for years to their annual convention and do a little talk on how not to do a yearbook.