From National Lampoon, you go directly to Saturday Night Live, because it's a lot of the same people.

Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.

Fashionably amusing table manners are a matter of breaking the right rule at the right time.

I suspect the soviets never did want to use those bombs. The most Stalinist of Soviet hard-liners - Stalin, for example - must have realized a nuclear war would be a hard thing to clean up after.

You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.

If you're doing a column, you kind of have to. Like in the back of Sports Illustrated, Rick Reilly has to find something to be mad about. It's not really the way I approach things.

The Russians could have some (warheads) aimed at Japan, so if we act up they can destroy our economy.