The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.

People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs.

From National Lampoon, you go directly to Saturday Night Live, because it's a lot of the same people.

We have no one to blame for the Kennedys but ourselves. We took the Kennedys to heart of our own accord. And it is my opinion that we did it not because we respected them or thought what they proposed was good, but because they were pretty. We, the electorate, were smitten by this handsome, vivacious family. . . . We wanted to hug their golden tousled heads to our dumpy breasts.

The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen.

This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans.

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.