The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.

Hunter S. Thompson and I are old friends, but what we do is so different. There are surface similarities that really have to do with us being frustrated poets.

War will exist as long as there's a food chain.

Nothing bad is going to happen to us. If we get fired, it's not failure; its a midlife vocational reassessment.

Like Rick in Casablanca: "We'll always have Paris." When what we'll always have is, like, Brooklyn and arguments about [Lev] Trotsky.

I don't watch much television. Yeah, that's pretty funny. I don't know where The Daily Show stand politically, do you?

As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.