Now majority rule is a precious, sacred thing worth dying for. But like other precious, sacred things .... it's not only worth dying for; it can make you wish you were dead. Imagine if all life were determined by majority rule. Every meal would be a pizza.

Everything on a boat has a different name than it would have if it weren't on a boat. Either this is ancient seafaring tradition or it's how people who mess around with boats try to impress the rest of us who actually finished college.

Smoking crack is a way for people who couldn't afford college to study the works of Charles Darwin.

I'm a rather decisive type.

Long conversations with pals when neither you nor they have had a drink can be a test of palship.

The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and we can fix that."

Wearing a hat implies that you are bald if you are a man and that your hair is dirty if you are a woman.