In the Third World, honk your horn only under the following circumstances: 1. When anything blocks the road. 2. When anything doesn't. 3. When anything might. 4. At red lights. 5. At green lights. 6. At all other times.

I am no stranger to loud music. I've been to a Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels concert. I once dated a woman with two kids.

Writing this book required an enormous amount of help from friends. To them goes the credit. I'll take the money.

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.

Of course, the humans in Haiti have hope. They hope to leave.

Everybody in 15th century Spain was wrong about where China was and as a result, Columbus discovered Caribbean vacations.

A dugout is much superior to a conventional manufactured canoe because you can get soaking wet without bothering to capsize it.