People have a right to my food, a right to my housing, and a right to my good job for my decent pay.

America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.

I've decided that my motto in life is "Get off my lawn." It's the right answer to everything.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages.

In 1970 or '71, early in the magazine, Michael O'Donoghue did maybe eight pages of a 1958 yearbook, from Ezra Taft Benson High School. But by the time the [book-length] high-school yearbook came around, he didn't want to be involved.

A good bachelor drinks his dessert (and sometimes the rest of his meals). A sweet tooth is a danger signal that you're getting too much exercise and not enough cocktails.