France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything that's open for business.
P. J. O'RourkeWe like to pile language on language. Hunter [ S. Thompson] was an influence on me, no doubt about it.
P. J. O'RourkeEven a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven.
P. J. O'RourkeI think in the [Bill] Clinton era, if people hadn't been spending vast amounts of time attacking Clinton, they would have found that they had essentially the same problems as they do now.
P. J. O'RourkeI buy a tractor two years ago, and four-fifths of the tractor manual is about not tipping over, not raising the bucket high enough to hit high-tension wire... not killing yourself, basically. And in that manual, I found out - and it cost me a thousand dollars - that when the tractor is new, 10 hours into use of the tractor, you have to re-torque the lug nuts. If you don't, you will oval the holes. This is buried between the moron warnings. I never found it. I take the tractor in for its regular servicing, and they say my wheels are gone. How am I supposed to know that? "It's in the manual."
P. J. O'Rourke