Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.

Guns are always the best method for a private suicide. They are more stylish looking than single-edged razor blades and natural gas has got so expensive. Drugs are too chancy. You might miscalculate the dosage and just have a good time.

Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.

Bill Maher can be pretty good, except when he gets "important." Maher's all over the place politically.

The Italians have had 2,000 years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place!

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

I am a journalist and, under the modern journalist's code of Olympian objectivity (and total purity of motive), I am absolved of responsibility. We journalists don't have to step on roaches. All we have to do is turn on the kitchen light and watch the critters scurry.