Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.

The typical old-fashioned diet (in the nineteenth century) was so bad it almost assembled modern dieting.

Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

Nothing bad is going to happen to us. If we get fired, it's not failure; its a midlife vocational reassessment.

Dates used to be made days or even weeks in advance. Now dates tend to be made the day after. That is, you get a phone call from someone who says, "If anyone asks, I was out to dinner with you last night, okay?"

The Three Branches of Government: Money, Television, and Bullshit

Government conspiracy? They can't even deliver our mail and it's got our address on it and everything!