A cocktail party is what you call it when you invite everyone you know to come over to your house at six p.m., put cigarettes out on your rug, and leave at eight to go somewhere more interesting for dinner without inviting you.
P. J. O'RourkeDuring the mid-1980s dairy farmers decided there was too much cheap milk at the supermarket. So the government bought and slaughtered 1.6 million dairy cows. How come the government never does anything like this with lawyers?
P. J. O'RourkeCockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport -- two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner.
P. J. O'RourkeVisiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner."
P. J. O'RourkeGood manners consist of doing precisely what everyone thinks should be done, especially when no one knows quite what that is.
P. J. O'RourkeHealth care is too expensive, so the Clinton administration is putting a high-powered coporate lawyer - Hillary - in charge of making it cheaper. (This is what I always do when I want to spend less money - hire a lawyer from Yale.) If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.
P. J. O'Rourke