Imagine if all of life were determined by majority rule. Every meal would be a pizza. Every pair of pants, even those in a Brooks Brothers suit, would be stone-washed denim. Celebrity diet and exercise books would be the only thing on the shelves at the library. And - since women are a majority of the population - we'd all be married to Mel Gibson.

Germans respond well to lies. At least, they always have historically.

We should never hesitate to listen to a fool about life because life is pretty foolish as far as I can tell.

Who does Bill Clinton think got off the boat and stepped on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers?

If I give up drinking, smoking, and fatty foods, I can add ten years to my life. Trouble is, I'll add it to the wrong end.

The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15 we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail.

Women are successful in the business world because the business world was created by men. Men are babies. And women areGood With Kids.