A girl who is really pretty - whether she wraps herself in an abayah, a nun's habit, or the front hall rug - never wraps herself so that the world can't tell.

When you think of the good old days, think one word: dentistry.

In general, life is better than it has ever been, and if you think that, in the past, there was some golden age of pleasure and plenty to which you would, if you were able, transport yourself, let me say one single word : Dentistry.

Then there's politics. Just imagine politics with its dumbbell element subtracted. There would be no Republican candidates. There would be no Democratic voters. The whole system would collapse.

Politicians are always interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs.

Germans respond well to lies. At least, they always have historically.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.