People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don't need to go to Beirut for that - but a foreign correspondent begins to understand poverty from a different perspective.

A woman should dress to attract attention. To attract the most attention, a woman should be either nude, or wearing something as expensive as getting her nude is going to be.

Women are successful in the business world because the business world was created by men. Men are babies. And women areGood With Kids.

From National Lampoon, you go directly to Saturday Night Live, because it's a lot of the same people.

If the Japanese want to be taken seriously as world financial powers, they'd better quit using the same tailor as variety show chimps.