Popular culture has become engorged, broadening and thickening until it's the only culture anyone notices.

Russian cars are silly. They look like imports drawn by a cartoonist for a UAW newsletter.

Bill Maher can be pretty good, except when he gets "important." Maher's all over the place politically.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

The principal feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things — war and hunger and date rape — liberals testify to their own terrific goodness. More important, they promote themselves to membership in a self-selecting elite of those who care deeply about such things.... It's a kind of natural aristocracy, and the wonderful thing about this aristocracy is that you don't have to be brave, smart, strong or even lucky to join it, you just have to be liberal.

You can't shame or humiliate modern celebrities. What used to be called shame and humiliation is now called publicity.

I have, of all the inglorious things, a malignant hemorrhoid. What color bracelet does one wear for that? And where does one wear it? And what slogan is apropos? Perhaps that slogan can be sewn in needlepoint around the ruffle on a cover for my embarrassing little doughnut buttocks pillow.