Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort.

Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But left-wingers do.

El Salvador has the scenery of northern California and the climate of southern California plus - and this was a relief - no Californians.

Gambling is so pervasive in Nevada that maybe the state should just go the whole hog. There'd be gum machines that dispensed chewing tobacco if you lost. You could gamble for the toilet paper in public bathroom stalls. And fill out Keno cards in an attempt to win cancer therapy at the hospital.

In 1970 or '71, early in the magazine, Michael O'Donoghue did maybe eight pages of a 1958 yearbook, from Ezra Taft Benson High School. But by the time the [book-length] high-school yearbook came around, he didn't want to be involved.

People have a right to my food, a right to my housing, and a right to my good job for my decent pay.

Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present.