The only time a bachelor's bed is made is when it's in the factory.

Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.

Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less.

Each American embassy comes with two permanent features - a giant anti-American demonstration and a giant line for American visas. Most demonstrators spend half their time burning Old Glory and the other half waiting for green cards.

A woman should dress to attract attention. To attract the most attention, a woman should be either nude, or wearing something as expensive as getting her nude is going to be.

Although computer-generated artificial intelligence eludes us, artificial stupidity has been perfected.

I'd like to end the book a lot of ways. Except I don't have any answers. Use your common sense. Be nice. This is the best I can do. All the trouble in the world is human trouble. Well, that's not true. But when cancer cells run amok and burst out of the prostate and take over the liver and lymph glands and end up killing everything in the body including themselves, they certainly are acting like some humans we know.