Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.

They don't like anyone who isn't Korean, and they don't like each other all that much, either. They're hardheaded, hard-drinking, tough little bastards, 'the Irish of Asia'.

Those who do not know history are probably also not doing well in English or math. P.J. O'Rourke

I've decided that my motto in life is "Get off my lawn." It's the right answer to everything.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

As a result of that, and as a result of friendship, I don't think we've ever been competitive. I mean, there's probably a very good reason Hunter [S. Thompson] isn't jealous of me.

Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport -- two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner.