Some women want the strong silent type, so they can tell him to shut up and rearrange the furniture.

The only time a bachelor's bed is made is when it's in the factory.

Passover is my idea of a perfect holiday. Dear God, when you're handing out plagues of darkness, locusts, hail, boils, flies, lice, frogs, and cattle murrain, and turning the Nile to blood, and smiting firstborn, give me a pass, and tell me when it's over.

Farm policy, although it's complex, can be explained. What it can't be is believed. No cheating spouse, no teen with a wrecked family car, no mayor of Washington, D.C., videotaped in flagrante delicto has ever come up with anything as farfetched as U.S. farm policy.

B students work for C students - A students teach.

Whereas Rolling Stone, I just never had anything to do with them. I'd stop by the office maybe twice a year.

Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye.