A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.

I'm not guaranteeing what we come up with will be better for the planet. There is ethanol, for instance, which actually nets out with more pollution at greater expense, and more harm to the environment than petroleum, but we'll come up with something.

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

We like to pile language on language. Hunter [ S. Thompson] was an influence on me, no doubt about it.

The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.

I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes.

The question nowadays is not what makes government work. The question is how do we make it stop.