One nice thing about the Third World, you don't have to fasten your seat belt. (Or stop smoking. Or cut down on saturated fats.) It takes a lot off your mind when average life expectancy is forty-five minutes.
P. J. O'RourkeThis country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans.
P. J. O'RourkeAs I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.
P. J. O'RourkeThere are just two rules of governance in a free society: Mind your own business. Keep your hands to yourself.
P. J. O'RourkeSo-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else available. Western civilization not only provides a bit of life, a pinch of liberty and the occasional pursuance of happiness, it's also the only thing that's ever tried to. Our civilization is the first in history to show even the slightest concern for average, undistinguished, none-too-commendable people like us.
P. J. O'Rourke