A lot of things work better in a locomotive.

If we're free to do what we want, why does government always have a plan for us?

These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper.

That is the really great thing about being an adult male, once you get married and have children the whole decision-making process is taken out of your hands, and I for one am extremely grateful.

Normally, the job sucks but work is kinda fun, because you see your friends and flirt with girls and stuff.

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.

Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming.