Never do anything to a clitoris with your teeth that you wouldn't do to an expensive waterproof wristwatch.
P. J. O'RourkeMany reporters, when they go to work in the nation's capital, begin thinking of themselves as participants in the political process instead of glorified stenographers.
P. J. O'RourkeThe principal feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things — war and hunger and date rape — liberals testify to their own terrific goodness. More important, they promote themselves to membership in a self-selecting elite of those who care deeply about such things.... It's a kind of natural aristocracy, and the wonderful thing about this aristocracy is that you don't have to be brave, smart, strong or even lucky to join it, you just have to be liberal.
P. J. O'Rourke