It is important to remember when making jokes about women, that they are not a minority. They weren't captured on another continent and brought here in leg-irons (funny shoes, yes, but not leg-irons) and Hitler didn't blame them for Germany's loss in WWI. Therefore, you can make any kind of fun of them you want.

Predicting innovation is something of a self-canceling exercise: the most probable innovations are probably the least innovative.

A lot of things work better in a locomotive.

Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.

If a journalist shows a facility for praise he's liable to be offered a job in public relations or advertising and the next thing you know he's got a big office, a huge salary and is living in a fine home with a lovely wife and swell kids - another career blown to hell.

Never strike anyone so old, small or weak that verbal abuse would have sufficed.

Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks.