A cocktail party is what you call it when you invite everyone you know to come over to your house at six p.m., put cigarettes out on your rug, and leave at eight to go somewhere more interesting for dinner without inviting you.

The only time a bachelor's bed is made is when it's in the factory.

Long conversations with pals when neither you nor they have had a drink can be a test of palship.

I'm a registered Republican and consider socialism a violation of the American principle that you shouldn't stick your nose in other people's business except to make a buck.

Adam Smith's huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.

Daniel Patrick Moynihan is the archetypal extremely smart person who went into politics anyway instead of doing something worthwhile for his country.

We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it.