Civilization is an enormous improvement on the lack thereof.

In general, life is better than it has ever been, and if you think that, in the past, there was some golden age of pleasure and plenty to which you would, if you were able, transport yourself, let me say one single word : Dentistry.

I spent almost 25 years as a foreign correspondent, and the world's primary problem is poverty.

There's no such thing as a race and barely such a thing as an ethnic group. If we were dogs, we'd be the same breed.... Trouble doesn't come from Slopes, Kikes, Niggers, Spics or White Capitalist Pigs; it comes from the heart.

You can't get something for nothing. Everybody remembers this except politicians.

Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But left-wingers do.

Politicians are always interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs.