Not everybody should be laughing at everything at the same time. That's not even natural. My thing is to feel natural, because I don't want to feel like I could just make people laugh at every single joke, every single time, with the same decibel level.

I don't go to any sexy places to eat where they give you half a lamb chop and one bean. I like going, 'Uhhh, I'm done' when I eat.

Women don't want to win, they want a winner.

I wanna say 'China', but I don't really mean 'China.' I just mean the places that Chinese people come from.

I'm a thigh-meat dude. Thigh is just the best meat - I don't get chicken breast. I think it's a publicity stunt that we've convinced people it's delicious.

Just making the crowd laugh is not really doing things for me anymore. That's just knowing how to kill; I've learned how to kill - but also learned when a crowd's laughter is meaningful.

I generally don't like living in a world where being what a man is, is a horrible thing; and no matter what a woman is, is a wonderful thing.