I generally don't like living in a world where being what a man is, is a horrible thing; and no matter what a woman is, is a wonderful thing.

Women expect us to like them, but they don't even like each other

Just making the crowd laugh is not really doing things for me anymore. That's just knowing how to kill; I've learned how to kill - but also learned when a crowd's laughter is meaningful.

Not everybody should be laughing at everything at the same time. That's not even natural. My thing is to feel natural, because I don't want to feel like I could just make people laugh at every single joke, every single time, with the same decibel level.

I am that guy who will say things that people seem to think is a little edgy, a little racy.

I'm a big buffet dude, or I'm a big cheap-food-and-order-more-when-I-need-it dude.

People say life ain't fairlife is very fair. People aren't fairpeople are terrible.