The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

Yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life . . . and you messed it up again.

Any political party that includes the word 'democratic' in its name, isn't.

Repent or be damned! If you have already repented, please disregard this notice.

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.

A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.