Yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life . . . and you messed it up again.
Repent or be damned! If you have already repented, please disregard this notice.
A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Any political party that includes the word 'democratic' in its name, isn't.
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.