Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure.

It’s the method of consumption, not what’s on the plate.

As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.

I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes.

If the victories we create in our heads were let loose on reality, the world we know would drown in blazing happiness.

I think most comedians go through that (period), where you have to change or evolve. You don't want to just keep doing variations on the same themes. And, besides, it would look kinda creepy for a guy my age to be doing stuff that, like, a 20-year-old would do. 'Yeah, this is bullshit!' It's, like, 'Really? You don't have bigger concerns at this point in your life?'

I love doing movies, but right now, television is the way Hollywood was in the late '60s and early '70s. The dream era I would have loved to have been part of in Hollywood then is happening right now, but it's happening on television, with these big complicated story arcs and real character-driven shows and sheer ambiguity left and right.