Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure.

I like to write, I like to do stand-up, I like to act.

The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation made a bobble head of me and sent it to my management. No card, nothing.

I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports.

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got.

If Kevin James or Paul Giamatti drop weight, I'm done. I don't want to be the last pudge out there.