I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution.

If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.

Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.

Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse.

I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never take just water. Instead, I'll have maybe six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a day.

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.